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A Miracle

You are never going to believe how much weight I lost this week. I mean never, never, never in a million years. Recap: The first week on ww I lost 6 pounds. I expected a 0 or 1 pound loss the next week, and I lost 5. Needless to say, this week I was again expected a 0 or 1 pound loss. But when I stepped on the scale? 6 POUNDS!!!!!!!! Holy mother of all that is good and holy! That is 17 pounds in 3 weeks. I've never even lost that much in a month! I don't know what is going on. I have used all of my flex points all 3 weeks. AND last night I went out to eat and had ice cream! So I was really not expecting a loss this week. To go from 236 to 219 in such a short amount of time is mind blowing. Literally. This morning I was sitting there and I told my husband I was 219 and then I said no, that can't be right, but then I did the math again and it was! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

Last night I had a hard time at the restaurant. It was this little restaurant that was also a hotel and I went there with my friends. I literally could not find anything healthy that was also appetizing. But then my friend gave me the idea of soup. So I ordered a bowl of the spicy chili and I also ordered the pita chips with bruschetta dip. I know the pita chips probably weren't super healthy but I probably only had 15 of the 30 or 40 they gave me. And then I only ate like 1/3 of the soup. I had the rest for lunch today. Then after dinner yesterday I got ice cream. When I got home and estimated the points, I had only eaten exactly all of my daily points! I was shocked because I was expecting to use a lot of my flex points. I have to go down one daily point this week because of being 219. Yay! The last time I weighed 219 was in May! So in just 3 weeks I've erased 3 and a half months of weight gain. How awesome is that? I'm so psyched! This is so unbelievable. THANK YOU WEIGHT WATCHERS. I feel like the weight is falling off of me. Unfortunately it's not really noticeable yet. Only to me when I inspect closely. But that will come soon. I am a whole MONTH ahead of the weight loss timeline I made for myself (estimating I would lose 2 pounds a week). Ahh I'm so excited I could scream! :)

Odds and Ends

I'm still here! I just haven't had too much to blog about. I'm still staying on track, every thing's going fine, and mentally I'm doing fine. I start school this Tuesday, and I'm going to be super busy. I'm taking 15 credit hours, and I'm also exchanging babysitting with a couple friends. Which basically means Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I'll be gone from 8 in the morning until 4:30 or 5, and then I'll still have dinner to make, homework to do, and of course spending time with my family. I'll have my daughter with me while I'm babysitting so the only time I won't be with her is while I'm in class. I also have class Tuesday and Thursday mornings but I can come home after that. I'm thinking since Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll have more time, I'll purposely make big meals those days so we can have leftovers on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And there's always crock pot meals which I love, especially soups. So needless to say, I'll be eating away from home 3 days a week. I will eat breakfast at home then just bring plenty of snacks (usually string cheese and fruit) and also pack a lunch (frozen meals, soup, leftovers). I'm definitely a snack girl, I usually have at least 3-4 snacks a day.

Can I just say I love Lean Cuisine's santa fe style rice and beans meal? It has no preservatives! Actually I think most of their meals don't now, which is such a huge plus for me. I always feel so guilty eating frozen meals but I love the variety you can have + no preparation.

The other thing I'm worried about this semester is finding time to exercise. I can always go for walks with my daughter, which will probably be what I do 50% of the time. I think my mom is going to watch her extra time one day a week so I can go to the gym. Then there's Saturdays and Sundays where I can go to the gym or do my workout video (The Biggest Loser one... I love it!) I haven't really exercised very much since I started ww, but I have definitely been more active. I've been going on walks with my friend and I think we've been doing about a mile and a half or two miles, I'm not sure. Last fall we would walk 3 miles and I really want to get back to that point.

On the weight loss front, I really have no clue how much (if any) I'll lose this week. I definitely feel like I'm getting smaller and my pants are getting a lot bigger on me. The other day I came in the house, and I walked across the room without pulling them up just to see what would happen and they fell all the way down to my ankles. Lol! Think I need to switch sizes? The thing is, I have a pair that is the next size down, but they are still a little too tight! I think I just need to wash the pair I wear now so they will shrink. The reason I don't know if the scale will show a loss is because I lost 11 pounds in the first two weeks and I think it would be almost unheard of to lose any more the third week. I keep trying to prepare myself for it... somehow I haven't weighed myself at all since my last weigh in. I am so proud of myself! I didn't do it last week either. I keep thinking it's like a good luck thing, if I don't weigh myself then maybe I'll lose weight. And I realize that makes no sense at all.

Oh and I know I said I was going to post my food journal daily but I just haven't gotten around to it. I still keep a food journal every day, I have them all since I've started ww. I like to look back on them for food ideas. I still have mine from January when I was on ww then too!

For some reason I can't wait for my mom to notice I've lost weight. I don't know why... it's just my next "goal" I guess. My 10% goal is 211 pounds, so that's my next weight loss goal. It's funny because when I did ww in January I started out at 211 lbs. I always think it's cool when you lose weight that you can "go back" in time and think, now I weigh what I weighed in November, now I weigh what I weighed in July, etc.

Well my daugher is napping and I need to clean! That burns calories right? ;)

Rollercoaster

I feel like I'm been on an emotional roller coaster lately. I have been on such a high the past 3 days or so, always in such a good mood and feeling like I'm "in the zone" for weight loss, even going under my points on a couple days (which I try not to do normally). Then yesterday was our anniversary. I told myself I could use all 35 flex points and not feel bad. But then before our dinner I realized it was going to be really hard to calculate the points. We were going to Texas Roadhouse and they don't have any nutritional information online, nor could I find it anywhere else. So then I told myself I could get any meal and not try to calculate the points but then just not use any flex points the rest of the week. I had only eaten 9 points before dinner so I had 21 daily points left plus 35, I figured I should be fine. All along I was planning on eating chicken fingers, that's what I've been wanting. But then I got there and I just couldn't do it. And that is so not like me! Especially if I have the points to use. I just felt like I've already come pretty far and I didn't want to delay my progress. So I ended up ordering a meal that was just a marinated grilled chicken breast. But I did have plenty of indulgences... a Caesar salad and fries with ranch. I estimated my total meal to be 23 points (mainly because of all that salad dressing I had! aaagh!) and then we had ice cream after dinner which I estimated at 10 points. So I only ended up using 13 of my flex points! I was so incredibly proud of myself. It's because of things like these that I know I really am changing.

But then today came. I was still feeling awesome this morning. Last night we went shopping and I had bought 2 new shirts. I was surprised how small I looked in the mirror in them but then I remembered that my bathroom mirror makes you look smaller then you really are... I HATE that!!! So just now I took some full body pictures of myself in the shirts. BIG MISTAKE. I want to cry right now. I am still sooooo fat. Of course I am. I've only lost 11 pounds and I still weigh 225 pounds! I am just so short and squatty. It's so depressing. I know mentally I should know that 11 pounds is barely going to make a difference, obviously, but I just feel so much better that I feel like it's so much more.

This always happens to me when I lose weight. I keep constantly thinking I'm smaller than I am, then I am shocked when I take a picture of myself. It's kind of rough. I know one day I'll be surprised at how small I actually am, but that won't happen for a long time.

Another weird thing happened this morning. I got this weird feeling like I guess I felt like my success was scaring me. Like, what will happen if I actually get skinny? Do I really want that? I can't really even describe it. In a teeny tiny way it almost made me want to sabotage myself. Now don't worry, I'm DEFINITELY not going off the plan, and I don't feel like going off the plan at all. I actually still feel like I'm in the weight loss zone, I'm just not at the emotional high I was. It probably doesn't help that I'm on my uhh.. time of month.

I know I will have ups and downs and that's to be expected. I just don't want to be fat anymore, and I want it so bad. I just can't wait till it actually happens.

Holy Crap

This is unbelievable. This morning I weighed in at... 225 pounds... which means I lost 5 pounds! After losing 6 last week! This NEVER happens to me on ww, I usually have a smaller loss the 2nd week. I was in shock this morning. Especially because I wasn't hungry most of all last week and didn't make the best choices. Maybe I should make bad choices more often ;) Aaaaah I'm so excited and more motivated then ever! Victories will do that to you I guess.

Our anniversary is tomorrow (2 years) so I'm looking forward to a yummy guilt-free meal out using my flex points. Even if I literally lose 0 pounds this week, I almost won't care because I already lost 11 pounds the first 2 weeks! My last time on ww in January it took me a month and 4 days to lose 12!

I decided I'm not going to tell my mom that I've lost any weight. I think I mentioned I was doing ww again but I haven't said anything about it since then. It's a little game I'm playing to see how long it takes her to notice I've lost weight. I'm sure it will be at least 20 pounds, if not more, because I'm starting out so big.

It's so strange how much my confidence has gone up, even after only losing the initial 6 pounds. I kept expecting to see a thin person in the mirror, because I just felt so confident and happy, but then I'd realize I'm still fat. That's okay though, because I'm on my weigh down. Exactly 100 more pounds until my "goal" of 125. But I don't necessarily expect to get there. I'm just going to go where ww (and my body) takes me. If I get down to 140 and stop losing, I'll probably be okay with that. We'll see though, I really want the 130's! And I'm pretty short (5'4 or so) and I'm very small-boned so that's realistic I think.

This morning I made the best breakfast! Yet another idea from Roni- I made a packet of regular oatmeal, added 1/2 a cup of unsweetened applesauce, and 2 teaspoons of brown sugar. Yummm! It tasted like apple pie. And was perfect because I ate half and my 19 month old daughter ate the other half. I felt like it was super healthy. For some reason when I eat a whole packet of oatmeal I always feel extremely nauseous. I just feel like I'm so full I'm going to throw up, and I don't know why because it only has 100 calories. Weird I know. But half a packet seems to be perfect for both of us.

I'm going to try to go walking with my friend today, and if it doesn't work out I'm really going to try and go on my own. It's hard for me but I know I need to do activity! That's the hardest part about this journey so far. That and quitting Diet Coke! ;)

Well here is the FJ for today:

Yogurt 3 pts
Cantaloupe 1 pt
Whopper jr. 9 pts
Spicy chicken no mayo 7 pts
fajitas 6 pts
cantaloupe 1 pt
popcorn 2 pts

29 pts total

As you can see I still haven't been making good choices. I really need to work on that, especially since it's week 2 and my loss probably isn't going to be very big since it was so big last week. Another thing I'm working on is quitting Diet Coke. That is my number one and only addiction in life, besides chapstick.

Oh, and the fajitas I had tonight? I can't even tell you how good they are. They are one of our staple meals and the flavor is incredible. Tonight I ate them without the tortillas to cut points and it was still amazing!

I'm really trying hard not to weigh myself till Monday. I don't want to be disappointed if I weigh in early. Let's hope I make it!

Chugging Along

A funny thing has happened this week. I think it started on Monday; my appetite has gone WAY DOWN. My first week on ww I was famished every two hours or so, no matter what I had eaten. Suddenly I'm forcing myself to even eat! Okay, maybe that's a little bit of a stretch, but my hunger has been cut in half at least. Not that I'm complaining, but it's so strange! How could my body adjust so fast? And for some reason when I'm hungry all the time I at least feel like I'm losing weight. Since I haven't been hungry, I'm afraid I'm not losing. We'll find out next Monday, if I can wait that long.

I've been wanting to post my food journal daily, but the past 3 days or so every time I thought about it I realized I hadn't made the best of choices so I was too "embarresed" to put it on here... stupid I know. So I'm going to try to do it no matter what. Here's todays:

Cereal 2 pts
Milk 1 pt
Subway 15 pts
Apple 1 pt
Chili 6 pts
Grapes 1 pt
Blueberries 1 pt
Sherbert 2 pts

29 pts total

I see a lot of problems with today. First of all, I hardly had any veggies (only what was on my sub- the chili didn't really have any!) Second of all, I try to drink at least 1 cup of milk a day. I would love to have more, but I never want to sacrifice the points. And I definitely did not need a foot long at Subway. I ate half of it at lunch time and half of it 2-3 hours later. Notice the sherbert on there? It's a rediscovered treat from my childhood. I literally haven't had it since I was a kid and my husband was telling me how it's naturally low in fat and calories- and it sure is! A half of a cup is just 2 points. Awesome "food find" as Roni calls them. And if you don't know who Roni is? Go to her site! Now! She is an incredible inspiration. Another thing I discovered, also from Roni, is this sweet treat:



It is surprisingly so good! I also bought the butter kind but haven't tried it yet. This also weighs in at 2 points. YUM.

Lastly, I will leave you with a quote from Roni:

"The successful people are the ones who don't let those weeks or days domino into months and years"

(talking about when you have bad eating days) So true! It's definitely something I need to remind myself of all the time.